I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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