I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
