were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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