I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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