You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
