It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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