Me too!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
