so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
