I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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