Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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