its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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