i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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