I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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