I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
even my farts smell like vagina
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
