So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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