Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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