she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize