Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
