he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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