I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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