Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
