Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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