please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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