Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
