dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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