If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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