I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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