you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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