Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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