Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
