I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
