Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
