if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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