I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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