You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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