So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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