guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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