My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
