She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
