I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
50% drunk capacity currently
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
