did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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