One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize