I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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