its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
