I must be too annoying 4 u.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
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he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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