I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
