I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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