Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Duck Duck Cougar?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The air taste purple.
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