Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
