She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize