Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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