Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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