I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
