what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize