my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
