Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We had to coat check the pizza.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
