I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
