Pappa wants mamma naked
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
