OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
