Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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