Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
