Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
